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Voodoo Academy
Transcribed By: Drew Fuller Fan.com

Mrs. Bouvier: Last but not least, we have Paul St. Clair. During high school, Mr St. Clair had something of a problem interacting with others. However, we've been able to provide him with an excellent learning environment here at the Carmichael Bible college.
Paul: Hi.
Christopher: Nice to meet you.

Mike: This is the first time I've heard about a confessional.
Paul: Keep it down, Mike. He's gonna hear you.
Billy: Bull shit.
Mike: What did you just say?
Billy: Yank the candy cane out of your ass Mike. Save the prim and proper stuff for when the Rev. comes out, would ya?

Paul: Guys, I bet it's some kind of a test. I know it.
Billy: You think everything is a test Paul.
Paul: Reverand Carmichael leaves us alone for five or ten minutes to see what we do behind his back. That's exactly what it is. And Billy's gonna get in trouble for using bad language.
Billy: Oh, man. Stop being such a wet blanket! Nobody cares if I use that language.
Paul: I do.

Paul: I have a bad feeling about this.
Sam: It's just a confessional, Paul.

Paul: The Reverand is gonna hear you two if you don't stop arguing.

Mike: Rusty's usually the first one in the chow line. So, where is he?
Billy: I'm sure I'll be up all night worried about it.
Sam: That's a good question, Mike. I haven't seen Rusty anywhere.
Paul: He's asleep.
Mike: Huh? Why would he be asleep?
Paul: I don't know. He said he felt sleepy. He just laid down.

Paul: You're not on something are you?

Christopher: What the hell is going on here guys?
Mike: What's wrong with you?
Sam: We're just being a little free today, that's all. No biggy.
Paul: Well gang, I think Christopher's finally lost his mind. I think that the school's fried his last active brain cell.

Paul: Look, Christopher. You're a nice guy. We all like you. But this is too much, man. I think you have some personal issue you have to deal with here.

*Paul is in the tub relaxing, when Reverand Carmichael walks in behind him*
Paul: Is that you Sam? Hey, if you need to wash up I'll be out of the tub in a minute, all right? Just give me a second.
*Reverand Carmichael starts rubbing his shoulders*
Reverand Carmichael: Just relax son. It's just you and me.
Paul: Reverand?
Reverand Carmichael: Shh.... Just lay back and relax.
Paul: I thought-- I thought you were gone for the evening.
Reverand Carmichael: I came back just for you.
Paul: What are you doing Reverand?
Reverand Carmichael: Mrs. Bouvier wanted me to speed things up just a bit. Don't worry, it won't hurt.
*Reverand Carmichael splashes wine on Paul. Sparking light illuminate him, and he is turned into a voodoo doll. Reverand Carmichael picks him up from out of the tub and holds him up*
Reverand Carmichael: You're gonna make her very happy.